The Missing Piece.

Missing Piece

© Danyal Conner

You do what you're suppose to do,

with no frown or fuss.

Not because you want to ,

but because you must.

Day after day

It's like a routine.

Don’t have too much to say,

You only do the right thing. 

Soon you feel empty,

but you don't know what it could be.

You want no sympathy.

But it's something you can't see

Everything used to make sense,

but now you're lost in a maze.

You feel so tense,

and you pray for better days.

Something just doesn't seem right 

You look for an answer that's not there.

You stay awake all night,

But you feel like no one cares.

It's right in your face

and you think it's safe, 

or should you forget?

Things don't seem the same,

But what should you do?

You think you should change,

But change for who?

Understanding means nothing to you now.

Your heart is pronounced deceased

This should you allow ,

or find your missing piece?

   This poem may be one of the more fresher poems I have read, but the poet's contemporary take on life is timeless. To generalize the meaning of the poem, it implies to live your life and follow your heart. I think this appeals to me the most because my heart governs 80% of my life; to the point where I can be wreckless. The poem also talks about "routines" and trying to break them and searching for what is right for ourselves. 

   Being stuck in the same routine everyday is tiring and along the way, you feel hollow inside and unappreciated. I often have the mood like I'm that last slice of bread that nobody wants to eat; unwanted, like people just don't want you. These thoughts may be toxic, but we know that sometimes, the poison is the only cure. I just got to the point where I just had to stop this pity-party. I had to stop trying to fit into the mold that certain people forced me to be. I wasn't happy, and why should I bring that to myself? I believe people should not easily give in to what others say is good or bad, what's acceptable and not, because as long as you know in your heart that you're doing right, and you're not stepping in someone else's feet, there's nothing to worry about. Nobody should ever feel condemned, or think they made a mistake for following their heart. Yes, at times it may be stupid, but that's the beauty of it. Ironically, doing crazy things will lead us to enlightenment. Always being mental and staying inside the box only takes you so far until you realize that there's more to life when you experience it with your heart. 

   

   

The Last 12 Minutes.

Half asleep, contemplating whether or not to tell you how I really feel. Sometimes it's like I'm the only one who truly loved, and still loves you. I'm the only one who understands you and tries to listen to every story you have to tell, regardless of how much sense it doesn't make. I'm one of the people who believe in you and your dreams, how much you want to change, even though you're perfect to me. Always remember that I have never, and never will hold your past against you. There is nothing you could possibly do to make me hate you.

The thing is, I don't want to be selfish and tie you down. If you're happy with another, then your happiness is my happiness; if you'll love me, it'll happen in time.

I do not want to lose you again; you move on too fast. The possibility that I could be a part of your past, something that just happened and left a scar, is an idea I would never want to think of. No. I am learning to accept being one of your close friends. Having time with you without any commitment, no pressure. It's better. These are the things I want to say, but can not. I have yet to gather all my courage to confront you with my emotions.

Maybe I already am a part of your past, I just never noticed because I keep on unconsciously pushing myself to you.

These words shall remain unspoken. Some say it's true love, but what exactly is it?

Feeling Good.

   Like any other year, 2012 had its highs and lows. It included stories about love, friendship, family, the usual stuff. What made that year different was finally finding myself. All those retreats and recollections during high school about finding "your true self" was a blur. One does not simply learn from those kinds of retreats, especially with raging hormones which we thought made us "mature" when in reality, only made us annoying kids.

   In 2012, I was finally comfortable with who I was, and I met people whom I never knew would be so important. I was more mature and I had a clearer perception. Yet on the contrary, being naive and immature was still part of my nature. There were instances thrown at me on which I didn't know how to respond to. It required a battle between the heart and mind. It was exhausting never really knowing what to do, and if I do act on it, not knowing if it's the right choice was even harder. Those parts were hard, but I know it would pass. Looking back on it, I know I made the right choices. Although some parts are still halfway resolved, I'm keeping my faith and staying positive. 

   This year, 2013, I know that life will constantly bombard me with hardships, but I always remember that there will always be good things in store for me. Just like everyone else, I have to be patient and put up with it. Plus, it actually makes my life more interesting, to be honest. Life is a continuous process of learning and growing, not only for myself, but with the people I love.