Is it too early to round up everything that's happened to me this year?
For a start, January of 2012 was rough for me. You know, dealing with a recent break-up, figuring out what to do next, rebuilding myself for the rest of the year. Those things. I spent the next month still trying to do that and I just seemed to fail. Each. And. Every. Time. March came along and started off pretty well. I turned my cheek, and the odds were at my favor. It was a great month, although I forgot what went down. All I know is: it was great.
Now, summer. It was DRAMA from then on. It was all of my fault, really. Thanks to my laziness and lack of time management, my school requirements weren't done on time which caused me to cry in front of my adviser, begging and pleading. It was humiliating. Worst moment ever. On the plus side, I got to tour around Manila and Tagaytay. So it was like the candy treat after my appointment to the dentist. A traumatizing, scar-leaving appointment. Ooooh, and it was also the time I finally realized I was fat and started to adjust my diet. Look at me now! Still fat. Kind of. Stop judging me.
Aaaaaand June arrived, which only meant one thing: School Year! Yes, that time of the year where we go to school excited, peeing our pants, and rolling around like potatoes looking for our other potato friends. The rest of the school year was fine. Like most students, I just went because of my friends. Cliche.
And now it's December. Another year will be ending, and I still have unresolved problems. Oh well, there's still 2013, right? Things are a little confusing lately, but I'll make through it. 'Got to love 2012.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
An Open Letter.
Every ounce of my being at this very moment is filled with fear and regret. To the person I've hurt, I am sorry. You may not think of this as much, but this comes with sincerity and hope. I am disappointed at myself for letting this happen. It should have never come down to this point. I understand if you never want to talk to me again, I deserve that. Please, never forget that I will still care and will continue to make a fool out of myself just to get your attention. I am that determined. I miss you. We miss you. You were hanging on by a thread, and what I did just cut it all off. You never know what to do anymore. I can sense your fragile heart, your flimsy soul, trying so hard to laugh, trying so hard not to break down at any moment. It's hard being around you and not having the power to even approach you because what comes first in my mind are the things I did, or did not do. They stop me. I'll try my best to muster every bit of courage and confidence I have to formally talk to you. I should have thought about it carefully. You don't deserve a person like me but at one point, you gave me a gleaming hope that something so wonderful could happen twice. I'm still working on that. Please don't get annoyed by this, it's the closest way I can get these thoughts out of my head. If you want to talk, let us. Things will never be the same way again, but I'm positive we can work on the things among us.
<3
<3
Monday, December 10, 2012
In case you didn't know because potatoes.
Ramayana, Elements of the Story.
Setting:
The story takes place in India.Characters:
- Dasartha- the King
- Vasistha- the King's priest
- Sumitra, Kaikeyi, Kausalya- the King's 3 Wives
- Ravana- Ruler of the Demons
- Vishnu- Protector of the Universe
- Vishnu's Messenger- bought pasayam to Dasartha
- Rama- incarnation of Vishnu, Dasartha's son
- Lakshamana, Bharata, Satrughna- the King's other 3 sons
- Vishwamita- wise man
- Tataka- demoness
- Sita- Rama's wife
- Manthara- servant who disagreed to Rama's being King.
- Jataya- Vulture King
- Shurpanakha- She-demon, Ravana's sister
- Hanuman- loyal follower
- Vibhishana- Ravana's brother
- Indrajit- Ravana's son
- Valmiki- poet
- Kusa and Lava- Rama's and Sita's sons
Sequence:
- Dasartha wants a son to replace him as king when he dies.
- Vishnu wants to defeat Ravana, so he incarnates into Rama, Dasartha's eventual son.
- Rama grows to be strong and shows heroic signs, and is tasked to defeat Ravana.
- Together with his brother Lakshama, they defeat demons in the forest.
- Sensing competition for power, Kaikeyi persuades the King to make Bharata king.
- Lakshmana and Rama were exiled.
- Rama meets Sita, and they fell in love.
- Ravana also wants Sita as his wife, so he formed plans to get her from Rama.
- Ravana succeeded in getting Sita. It resulted to wars and bloodshed.
- Rama and his army defeats their enemies, successfully getting Sita back.
- They enter the kingdom again but due to rumors of infidelity, Sita was yet again exiled.
- She meets a poet, and gave birth to Rama's sons, Lava and Kusa.
- A feast was held and Rama met his sons through their recital of the poem Ramayana.
- Peace was restored in the kingdom.
Exposition:
- Vishnu is the god of the universe who wants to defeat Ravana, so he reincarnated as Rama, a powerful human with extraordinary skills. Throughout, he finds himself in the middle of love, wars and decisions that will test his mind and heart.
Conflict:
- When Ravana steals Sita away from the comfort of Rama.
Climax:
- Wars went on for days, lives were lost and a lot were injured just for Rama to get Sita back from her captivity.
Resolution:
- Sita was redeemed by Rama after all the bloodshed. They return to their kingdom and although there were rumors about infidelity, and Sita was yet again exiled, she remained patient and eventually the truth was shown about her purity. Peace and order was restored.
Sunrise. (Epitaph)
The day you set, it was your final kiss.
Finding your way onto the great abyss.
Little do they know, when the sun goes down,
It rises again and shines like a crown.
So shine bright, you majestic sun.
Life is a battle you have won.
Never again, will you cry.
Your legacy will never die.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Stories.
Stories, by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio.
This is book is an anthology of various stories picked by the authors. I've been reading this for the past 3 weeks now. I haven't picked it up for 4 days because I've been busy doing school-related stuff. Nevertheless, a great collection!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Melancholy.
Every once in a while, we meet a person who all of a sudden means so much to us, without us noticing it. It just happens overtime, like cancer, but in a good way. We just find ourselves doing everything in our will to hold on to that person. Even if it means standing aside and letting that person decide if they want to stay.
Sometimes, they won’t… And that part hurts. *A lot.* You feel the hurt because in reality, there were promises that were broken and memories that you still hold on to. Having that feeling that nothing so good will ever happen again is a nightmare. Thinking, “Hey, maybe things will be okay, and we’ll be together again.” But you wait. And wait. And wait. Until that person finds their way to another person’s heart. *Arrows, arrows everywhere that just aims at nothing but your heart. *No, this isn't cupid aiming, but life. Life just likes to play harsh games.* Then you start to create this make-believe situation that one sweet day, that person will eventually come back. You just keep on building the highest tower of expectations, only to realize that there’s no chance of romance ever again. That tower just crashes down with clouds of regret, disappointment, and the thought of fooling yourself. You start to wonder how to build it up again. More importantly, how do you build yourself again?
At most parts, it begins with bitterness. All the angers and frustrations come out unexpectedly and uncontrollably, like vomit… Which makes sense ‘cause vomit is bitter. And before you know it, people around you are also affected, which isn't healthy at all. It only brings a vibe of negativity.
Then, you create a mindset of being a good-sport. Acting like you’re happy, like nothing ever happened. But hey, who are you kidding? This person has been one of your greatest joys, your love. You have become so attached, you break down every time you think of the past. As time passes by, you just get sad all over again. You see, finding the road to recovery isn't easy. Often times, you see yourself where you have started. You just have to stop for a while and THINK. No matter how much you loved that person, remember to love yourself more.
You may not show your love anymore, but the simple act of letting go and letting that person be happier with someone else, is the greatest sign of love.
We Are Young + Parody + Sunscreen.
As an assignment, we were tasked to react on three videos which were shown to us last week. Since the message of the videos were kinda alike, I took the liberty of putting it into one entry.
From Fun.’s song “We Are Young”, I learned not to take the lyrics literally. The song uses symbolism through words to set the message creatively. And from it’s parody, “We’re Not Young”, for me, it talks about that cliche quote: “Do what you love or else you’re gonna be forced to love what you do.” It’s never too late to make things work out for yourself. Yes, we are young, but it is not an excuse to make pointless decisions that will eventually take us nowhere.
And lastly, “Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen” by Baz Luhrmann taught me to enjoy my youth. It’s true that we will never recognize the worth of our youth until we look back 10 or 15 years later, when we feel our bones crack. When the “noise” we hear is actually just teenage music. When we start to love sleep more than we love ourselves. You know, the things older people feel. To sum it all up, making the right decisions in life, especially during our youth, will bring us good in return. To quote the awesome One Direction, “live while we’re young”. :D
Never.
A myriad of thoughts.
Unorganized, a mess.
Nothing has ever been this exciting
And promotes stress
At the very same time.
They synchronize.
These four corners.
The fan.
The heat.
Work together to distract me.
I’ve been lured in.
Enticed.
But I try to get back.
Never have I really finished anyth—
Gemini.
The bright side, you always reveal
With all the fun and all the thrill.
Oh the spark you can not contain,
The luminescence of your brain.
The colorful gleam that you bring,
With happy songs, you dance and sing.
With you, everything is just right
Erase the stress, the fear, the fight.
But there’s a darker side in you,
Something you don’t believe is true.
You often think of suicide,
Those inner thoughts you try to hide.
All your life you tried to be strong
Darling, keep calm and carry on.
One sweet day you’ll soar very high.
Oh the perks of a Gemini.
November, December.
As I lay before a deep haze,
Into the sky, my eyes graze.
A scene outside the window,
Oh so pristine, oh so mellow.
Plenty of thoughts in my mind,
For a moment, I go blind.
It all starts right here,
The vivid memories I always fear.
It was when you liked me
And I liked you.
But there was something else
Only you knew.
You wear your heart on your sleeve,
Even up to the floor.
It was more than I could believe.
You wanted more.
Fast forward: it was pure bliss.
Every hug and every kiss.
Everything that’s in between
Just fit right in.
Slowly we drifted.
It was the part I dreaded.
You talked to me just to say goodbye
I was fine, I tried not to cry.
All was well, all was good.
It worked out like it should.
But I just want it all back
Thinking about it gives me a heart attack.
What differences a year can make.
To have you back, what does it take?
Let’s be happy together.
I promise you, now and forever.
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