The Missing Piece.

Missing Piece

© Danyal Conner

You do what you're suppose to do,

with no frown or fuss.

Not because you want to ,

but because you must.

Day after day

It's like a routine.

Don’t have too much to say,

You only do the right thing. 

Soon you feel empty,

but you don't know what it could be.

You want no sympathy.

But it's something you can't see

Everything used to make sense,

but now you're lost in a maze.

You feel so tense,

and you pray for better days.

Something just doesn't seem right 

You look for an answer that's not there.

You stay awake all night,

But you feel like no one cares.

It's right in your face

and you think it's safe, 

or should you forget?

Things don't seem the same,

But what should you do?

You think you should change,

But change for who?

Understanding means nothing to you now.

Your heart is pronounced deceased

This should you allow ,

or find your missing piece?

   This poem may be one of the more fresher poems I have read, but the poet's contemporary take on life is timeless. To generalize the meaning of the poem, it implies to live your life and follow your heart. I think this appeals to me the most because my heart governs 80% of my life; to the point where I can be wreckless. The poem also talks about "routines" and trying to break them and searching for what is right for ourselves. 

   Being stuck in the same routine everyday is tiring and along the way, you feel hollow inside and unappreciated. I often have the mood like I'm that last slice of bread that nobody wants to eat; unwanted, like people just don't want you. These thoughts may be toxic, but we know that sometimes, the poison is the only cure. I just got to the point where I just had to stop this pity-party. I had to stop trying to fit into the mold that certain people forced me to be. I wasn't happy, and why should I bring that to myself? I believe people should not easily give in to what others say is good or bad, what's acceptable and not, because as long as you know in your heart that you're doing right, and you're not stepping in someone else's feet, there's nothing to worry about. Nobody should ever feel condemned, or think they made a mistake for following their heart. Yes, at times it may be stupid, but that's the beauty of it. Ironically, doing crazy things will lead us to enlightenment. Always being mental and staying inside the box only takes you so far until you realize that there's more to life when you experience it with your heart. 

   

   

The Last 12 Minutes.

Half asleep, contemplating whether or not to tell you how I really feel. Sometimes it's like I'm the only one who truly loved, and still loves you. I'm the only one who understands you and tries to listen to every story you have to tell, regardless of how much sense it doesn't make. I'm one of the people who believe in you and your dreams, how much you want to change, even though you're perfect to me. Always remember that I have never, and never will hold your past against you. There is nothing you could possibly do to make me hate you.

The thing is, I don't want to be selfish and tie you down. If you're happy with another, then your happiness is my happiness; if you'll love me, it'll happen in time.

I do not want to lose you again; you move on too fast. The possibility that I could be a part of your past, something that just happened and left a scar, is an idea I would never want to think of. No. I am learning to accept being one of your close friends. Having time with you without any commitment, no pressure. It's better. These are the things I want to say, but can not. I have yet to gather all my courage to confront you with my emotions.

Maybe I already am a part of your past, I just never noticed because I keep on unconsciously pushing myself to you.

These words shall remain unspoken. Some say it's true love, but what exactly is it?

Feeling Good.

   Like any other year, 2012 had its highs and lows. It included stories about love, friendship, family, the usual stuff. What made that year different was finally finding myself. All those retreats and recollections during high school about finding "your true self" was a blur. One does not simply learn from those kinds of retreats, especially with raging hormones which we thought made us "mature" when in reality, only made us annoying kids.

   In 2012, I was finally comfortable with who I was, and I met people whom I never knew would be so important. I was more mature and I had a clearer perception. Yet on the contrary, being naive and immature was still part of my nature. There were instances thrown at me on which I didn't know how to respond to. It required a battle between the heart and mind. It was exhausting never really knowing what to do, and if I do act on it, not knowing if it's the right choice was even harder. Those parts were hard, but I know it would pass. Looking back on it, I know I made the right choices. Although some parts are still halfway resolved, I'm keeping my faith and staying positive. 

   This year, 2013, I know that life will constantly bombard me with hardships, but I always remember that there will always be good things in store for me. Just like everyone else, I have to be patient and put up with it. Plus, it actually makes my life more interesting, to be honest. Life is a continuous process of learning and growing, not only for myself, but with the people I love.

Still On The Brighter Side.

Is it too early to round up everything that's happened to me this year?

For a start, January of 2012 was rough for me. You know, dealing with a recent break-up, figuring out what to do next, rebuilding myself for the rest of the year. Those things. I spent the next month still trying to do that and I just seemed to fail. Each. And. Every. Time. March came along and started off pretty well. I turned my cheek, and the odds were at my favor. It was a great month, although I forgot what went down. All I know is: it was great.

Now, summer. It was DRAMA from then on. It was all of my fault, really. Thanks to my laziness and lack of time management, my school requirements weren't done on time which caused me to cry in front of my adviser, begging and pleading. It was humiliating. Worst moment ever. On the plus side, I got to tour around Manila and Tagaytay. So it was like the candy treat after my appointment to the dentist. A traumatizing, scar-leaving appointment. Ooooh, and it was also the time I finally realized I was fat and started to adjust my diet. Look at me now! Still fat. Kind of. Stop judging me.

Aaaaaand June arrived, which only meant one thing: School Year! Yes, that time of the year where we go to school excited, peeing our pants, and rolling around like potatoes looking for our other potato friends. The rest of the school year was fine. Like most students, I just went because of my friends. Cliche.

And now it's December. Another year will be ending, and I still have unresolved problems. Oh well, there's still 2013, right? Things are a little confusing lately, but I'll make through it. 'Got to love 2012.

An Open Letter.

Every ounce of my being at this very moment is filled with fear and regret. To the person I've hurt, I am sorry. You may not think of this as much, but this comes with sincerity and hope. I am disappointed at myself for letting this happen. It should have never come down to this point. I understand if you never want to talk to me again, I deserve that. Please, never forget that I will still care and will continue to make a fool out of myself just to get your attention. I am that determined. I miss you. We miss you. You were hanging on by a thread, and what I did just cut it all off. You never know what to do anymore. I can sense your fragile heart, your flimsy soul, trying so hard to laugh, trying so hard not to break down at any moment. It's hard being around you and not having the power to even approach you because what comes first in my mind are the things I did, or did not do. They stop me. I'll try my best to muster every bit of courage and confidence I have to formally talk to you. I should have thought about it carefully. You don't deserve a person like me but at one point, you gave me a gleaming hope that something so wonderful could happen twice. I'm still working on that. Please don't get annoyed by this, it's the closest way I can get these thoughts out of my head. If you want to talk, let us. Things will never be the same way again, but I'm positive we can work on the things among us. 


<3

In case you didn't know because potatoes.

Not closing the door after entering/exiting is a pet peeve. Vanilla is a drug. I adore mirrors. I love cats, and so should you. I consider myself half-talented.  I have a runny nose, every-flipping-morning. I have asthma. 26  Triangles, brah. Tattoos! Undercuts are cool. I was 1st honor when i was in kindergarten! I'm more of a giver, than a taker. Numbers hate me. My ankles never stop clicking/cracking. I also like to be quiet and timid. My laughter and handwriting depends on my mood. Blue. Being weird, duh. Hopeless romantic, pssh. Pancakes are still the best. Guy Directioner. I draw when I'm depressed. I have yet to master walking like a normal person. I'm vain. Maker of weird noises and faces. Mood swings are frequent. Rainy days and cold days are the happy pills. I want to be a brace-face. Awkward conversations. A sunrise will always be better than a sunset. Nothing of me is original. Eyes are the first things I notice. Scribbling is a passion. I love to listen because the potatoes are DONE!

Ramayana, Elements of the Story.

Setting: 

   The story takes place in India.

Characters:

• Dasartha- the King
• Vasistha- the King's priest
• Sumitra, Kaikeyi, Kausalya- the King's 3 Wives
• Ravana- Ruler of the Demons
• Vishnu- Protector of the Universe
• Vishnu's Messenger- bought pasayam to Dasartha
• Rama- incarnation of Vishnu, Dasartha's son
• Lakshamana, Bharata, Satrughna- the King's other 3 sons
• Vishwamita- wise man
• Tataka- demoness
• Sita- Rama's wife
• Manthara- servant who disagreed to Rama's being King.
• Jataya- Vulture King
• Shurpanakha- She-demon, Ravana's sister
• Hanuman- loyal follower
• Vibhishana- Ravana's brother
• Indrajit- Ravana's son
• Valmiki- poet
• Kusa and Lava- Rama's and Sita's sons

Sequence:

1. Dasartha wants a son to replace him as king when he dies.
2. Vishnu wants to defeat Ravana, so he incarnates into Rama, Dasartha's eventual son.
3. Rama grows to be strong and shows heroic signs, and is tasked to defeat Ravana.
4. Together with his brother Lakshama, they defeat demons in  the forest.
5. Sensing competition for power, Kaikeyi persuades the King to make Bharata king.
6. Lakshmana and Rama were exiled.
7. Rama meets Sita, and they fell in love.
8. Ravana also wants Sita as his wife, so he formed plans to get her from Rama.
9. Ravana succeeded in getting Sita. It resulted to wars and bloodshed.
10. Rama and his army defeats their enemies, successfully getting Sita back.
11. They enter the kingdom again but due to rumors of infidelity, Sita was yet again exiled.
12. She meets a poet, and gave birth to Rama's sons, Lava and Kusa.
13. A feast was held and Rama met his sons through their recital of the poem Ramayana.
14. Peace was restored in the kingdom.

Exposition:

• Vishnu is the god of the universe who wants to defeat Ravana, so he reincarnated as Rama, a powerful human with extraordinary skills. Throughout, he finds himself in the middle of love, wars and decisions that will test his mind and heart. 

Conflict:

• When Ravana steals Sita away from the comfort of Rama.

Climax:

• Wars went on for days, lives were lost and a lot were injured just for Rama to get Sita back from her captivity.

Resolution:

• Sita was redeemed by Rama after all the bloodshed. They return to their kingdom and although there were rumors about infidelity, and Sita was yet again exiled, she remained patient and eventually the truth was shown about her purity. Peace and order was restored.